I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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