i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
