Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize