he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
