dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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