Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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