bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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