look no pants
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
