Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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