oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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