Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
