Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
FUCK WHALES
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
