he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
