addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
