and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She bit a glass in half.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
