butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize