The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
