butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
