I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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