Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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