Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Houston, we have a blender
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
