I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize