I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
