i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
