i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
