I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
