Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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