White coat. Heels.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
