Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
