can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
