your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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