i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
