READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
