I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
