D3 body, D1 cock
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
