How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
