Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
