you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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