Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am spending my child support on dildos
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
