my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
