If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
