proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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