i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
