Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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