Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I could teleport
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
