David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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