Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
