small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
