Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
