Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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