Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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