I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
