can u get pink eye on your cock?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
