i just had sex bonerless
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
smell my finger.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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