is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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