i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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