Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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