the new term for farting is butt boxing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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