So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
