Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
