Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize