Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize