I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
pop tarts are not kleenex
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
