i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
