talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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